I'd like you to tell me about a time when.....

I hate job interviews. I know this statement is somewhat universal, but I really hate job interviews. I loathe them. You don't know them, they don't know you. You have to sit there, grinning a fake plastic grin, smiling and nodding (like some retarded foreign cousin, as David Cross would say), while trying to come up with stellar answers to the interviewer's inane questions: "If you were an animal, what animal would you most like to be?" "What color best describes you as a person?" I swear those are two questions that I have actually been asked before. Interviews always reek of cheap insincerity in my opinion, and I always feel like some sort of a fraud when I participate in them. I have taken part in enough of them over the last five years or so that the feeling of nervousness is all-but-gone. I've refined my approach over the years, and I've gotten to the point where I try to emit a "let's get down to brass tacks-cut-to-the-chase-no BS" vibe: "Here is what I can bring to your organization, what can you do for me?" "Let's not waste each other's time." I have found that this approach works well.

Over the next two days I will have the opportunity to test my approach yet again; not once, not twice, but three separate times over the next 48 hours. Why am I looking for a career change, you ask? Hmm, tough to say. I don't really dislike my current job (on-demand courier), I just feel like it might be time for a change. I guess I am looking for something a bit more "career-oriented" as opposed to the freelance type of work I do now. And benefits. Benefits would be good. While working on my car the other day, I learned how quickly one might be in need of medical insurance. Luckily, it was only a minor injury and required no immediate medical care. But what if it had? The situation could have gotten very expensive very quickly. Makes you think. In addition to all of that, I suppose I do feel a bit unsettled with my current source of employment. It's just not what I pictured myself doing at this point in life. I often find it interesting when I tell people what I do, especially if it's someone that I've known for a long time, but haven't seen for a while.
THEM: "So, what are you doing these days?"
ME: "I work for a courier company."
THEM: "Oh.....well, good for you."
They usually sound disappointed or confused by the fact that I'm not a lawyer or a banker or something more prestigious.
THEM: "Didn't you go to college?"
ME: "Yes."
THEM (not sure what to say): "Oh.....cool."

The truth is that I've never really known what I wanted to do. I've had a few different jobs in a few different industries, but never really been happy with any of them. So I keep looking. Life is too long to settle for something that you hate. I remember coming out of college with my expectations of how the working world would be. I had images in my head similar to a Microsoft/HP/IBM commercial: Young, vibrant, well-dressed people working together in some futuristic office building, brainstorming, solving problems, creating things, attending meetings, catching planes, enjoying life, smiling, mattering. It all seemed like a wonderful world to be a part of. Of course, real life is a bit different than the commercials will have you believe. I wonder if the people in those commercials had to interview for the jobs they had? If they did, I'll bet no one asked them what animal they would most like to be.